Fort Birthday

Mom’s closet, Part 1: Capsule Wardrobe

The accepted Mom uniform seems to be whatever is comfy and fits. Notice I didn’t say, clean; ‘clean’ long since became irrelevant.

I’m super trendy, as it turns out. I’ve got a capsule wardrobe. Or, dare I say it??? A CRAPSULE wardrobe.

I’ve talked briefly about it on my Instagram, but I realized this fall that I spend more time thinking about how my twins dress than I do on myself.

To be fair, my kids look adorable in their cute clothes (you can even check out HOW cute they look here in my post about dressing twins.)

I look like 10 pounds of potatoes in a 5 pound bag.

The reality of being a new mom is the clothes you want to wear not fitting at all (or correctly). I started noticing that when I did my laundry I was only doing one load at a time. Of all the same clothes.

In effect, I developed a capsule wardrobe.

A true capsule wardrobe is a super bloggable idea that keys into all the trendiest Marie Kondo, Live More With Less, Declutter, Happiness is Only a Massive Lifestyle Change Away Bullshit*.

My capsule wardrobe is NOT a collection of classic and timeless pieces, carefully curated, and creatively interchanged.

My capsule wardrobe: Whatever freaking fits

My one load of laundry consists of:

• Three bras that fit only in the loosest (get it??) terms – so long, lovely and voluptuous pre-baby boobs. Hello sad sacks of fat. And 3 sports bras.
• 2 weeks worth of underwear that I run through in 6 days because every time I sneeze I need a new pair.
• Three pairs of jeans that actually fit including one pair that my inner thighs are waging war against, and winning.
• 4 Pajama Bottoms including a fuzzy pair with holes burned in them from camping.
• 3 pairs of fuzzy socks. And six rando ones I can’t throw away.
• Two pairs of “Yoga” pants. One is 15 years old and covered in paint. One is 10 years old and only has a few paint spots.
• 7 long sleeve t-shirts in various states of decay.
• 3-5 short sleeve t-shirts that fit too poorly to wear in public so I sleep in them.
• A hundred socks – but they are all the same style, brand, color
• Four Active Wear outfits that I squeeze myself into when I go to the gym and wear with no shame to Target afterwards.
• Five hoodies including two that do not zip anymore.
• Two good cardigans
• Two good shirts.

A mother’s dilemma – I’m not buying clothes until I drop a size.

Since my twins are Three now – and I want to see them grow up (I’m old, had them at 40) – I’ve been trying to watch what I eat and go to the gym.

I hate the gym. I hate salads. This entire self care project sucks ass.

The intended side effect of this is weight loss. Which means even fewer of my clothes fit correctly. And, I’m “I’m not buying new clothes until I drop a size” sized.

So, I’ve got only a few things that actually fit and look halfway decent on me. And I’m wearing those things into the ground.

A new metaphor (and new clothes) is (are) coming to my closet

I don’t know what that metaphor is, but change is afoot.

Look for my next post where I’ll ask you if we are talking: Tragedy, History, or Comedy when it comes to my wardrobe.

And in Part 3, I’m going to tell you about how working with a stylist helped me make some good decisions (for a change) about what I’m wearing.

*Spoiler Alert: Massive Lifestyle Change Blog post to follow. And it makes me pretty happy.

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