Fort Birthday

Rules for Watching My Twins, or guidelines, at least

We like to call this ‘The Broken Tooth Express’

Rules. What Rules?

Make your own rules. Seriously.

I don’t care how strict or lax you are. If the rule at your house is no-jumping-on-the-sofas then don’t let them jump on your sofas. It’s ok to have rules. The twins can handle it. Have as many as you need to stay sane. Make them as ridiculous and specific as needed.

Make them and then break them – cause sometimes being naughty is super fun. Or make one really really important one – eg. you may never ever ever swipe when looking at Auntie’s phone pictures.

Or NO rules?

If there are no rules at your house, that’s great too. I don’t live there and don’t have to live with the fall out. Spoil them rotten. At 3 years old they already know which side their bread is buttered on and who the suckers are (I’m looking at you, Nana). Everyone needs a vacation, even toddlers.

Eating cake for breakfast even sounds good to me. Let them watch TV the whole time while you ignore them. It won’t ruin them forever.

Some rules or none, or something in between, but fair warning

You being there matters and for even a few minutes (or hours) I am not in charge.

Here’s my only warning. Don’t let them do something – no matter how heartbreakingly cute or fun it is – unless you want them to do it again. Over and over and over again. Toddlers are BORN lawyers and if you make an exception once, prepare yourself to make it again.

This especially goes for sharing food and drinks; if you let them sip from your straw once, it’s over. You share one bite of blue cheese… well just ask their Grandpa about that one.

I wouldn’t have asked you if I didn’t trust you…. Well depending how desperate I am…

I’m leaving the rules up to you since I trusted you to watch my most precious twin boys. I trust you not to hit them. I expect you to keep them alive and relatively undamaged while they are in your care. How you accomplish these things is up to you.

If you want to know how I do things, ask. I’ll tell you

We tell them not to hit people or animals. We ask them to use simple manners. We tell them safety is not negotiable and they have to be buckled into seats. There are a whole host of things we don’t LIKE it when they do – and believe me, the twins may demonstrate each and every one of them for you.

It’s not fair for me to tell you the rule is ‘we don’t shout at our kids’ cause even mommy loses her cool sometimes – I made these Twins, I treasure them, and I have yelled, “I don’t like you very much right now.” at them.

And it’s not fair for me to tell you the rule is ‘we eat healthy food’ – if they are hungry, feed them whatever they will eat. Some days they eat exclusively blueberries. Your guess is as good as mine.

What I’ll do

I’ll provide at least two changes of clothes per kid. And I won’t be mad or judge if they are strutting around nekked at the end of the day. Shit, and dirt, and puddles, and vomit, and each other’s pee happens. No need to be chagrined when you return the clothes in a bag, and I COMPLETELY understand if they found their way into the trash.

No one expects you to baby proof your house for a 2 hour tour of duty with twins. I trust you won’t have rat poison in brightly colored packaging out on floor. Anyway, it will take them about two minutes to help you find all the sharp, dangerous, or embarrassing things you couldn’t find or thought you put away.

I trust you to administer kisses to owies and bandaids to scrapes, just like I would.

Twin Moms, are eternally grateful for every minute of help

I need time away from my kids to make life work, to run errands, to stay sane. To make that happen I happily cede responsibility for my twins for a time. I’m going to come back and take them home at the end of the day. Maybe.

The boys were tickled pink to play in the Kennel at their Aunt and Uncles house. But I probably will be ok saying my ONE RULE is dont lock my twins in a kennel.

We share in Fort Birthday