Fort Birthday

One year later: A diaper status update on potty training.

Full disclosure we aren’t really done with the diaper

Just to get the facts out there: My twin boys are wearing underwear, sometimes. Sometimes means not during nap or overnight.

Getting rid of the diaper.. Almost

One year ago we finally waved the white flag on our first attempt at potty training. To sum up: It sucked, it didn’t work, and made all of us miserable. Six months later, I posted about starting again and listed some of my hints for giving it another try.

Two nights ago K protested wildly about peeing before bath and I heard myself utter the words, “You have been doing this every night for a year.” And I realized it was true, when we ‘quit’ potty training we kept making them sit on the potty before they got in the bathtub. They didn’t always pee, but they did it for 360-some days.

Once the potty came out again, we let them go every time they asked. But we didn’t push the issue for the entire summer (we were doing high intensity swim lessons, so adding another stressful activity seemed like a bad plan). We rewarded. We praised. But we didn’t pressure. We pretty much did everything ‘The Book’ (you know which one I’m talking about) tells you not to do.

Twin Brothers; Different results

By August K kept his diaper dry and asked to use the potty 90% of the time. We started school in diapers and they were onboard with our low pressure approach. Some time in the middle of the month we realized his diaper was NEVER wet during the day. So we said, “hey buddy, want to try wearing underwear?” And he was ON BOARD.

We have some operator error issues with him (aka: us not getting to the potty in time). And lately we’ve been having some cockiness on his part that resulted in genuine accidents. He can ignore the early urge to go and sometimes waits too long to tell us. He is highly motivated by bribery – you poop on the potty, you get a cookie (don’t freak out, it’s one of those mini size chips-ahoy). He is all about the cookie.

J immediately spotted this whole potty nonsense as a potential power game. After K transitioned to underwear we instituted an everybody pees before we leave the house rule (which sucks, btw, and adds 10-20 minutes to getting anywhere). J has spent more than a little bit of time screaming about how he doesn’t need to go potty to then, yup, you guessed it, go potty.

By December he kept his diaper dry enough of the time we forced the underwear issue during the day. He’s more prone to accidents and pees about 2x as frequently as his brother. Also, he’s a boxer briefs kind of guy vs. his brother who is all briefs, all the time.

The bottom line and Potty Amnesia

We spent 9 months doing exactly the same thing. Literally, exactly the same thing for both guys. And shockingly (no multiples mom is actually shocked by this) they are different people with different results. My takeaway from this is that potty training is a CRAPSHOOT. If this doesn’t demonstrate that there is NO ONE SINGLE WAY TO POTTY TRAIN YOUR KID then I don’t know what does.

There is all this external pressure to potty train. I also think there is a lot of potty amnesia. It’s easy for me to say, “K essentially potty trained himself.” But that’s a bunch of bullshit. It took months of positive reinforcement, lots of naked running around the yard peeing on trees, and a metric ton of M&Ms. His potty training wasn’t an event, it was just us finally realizing he wasn’t peeing in his diaper anymore.

J made potty training a miserable power game. One that he got to win some of the time because This Mom can only stand so much crying and fighting over something that is easily remedied by slapping a diaper back on that bitch. And people don’t like to remember or talk about how they gave into their toddler because we aren’t supposed to negotiate with terrorists. The jury is still out, we have to be more vigilant about keeping an eye on him. But I’m calling it a daytime win for now.

It all works in the end – case in point

People love to say, “well they won’t go to college in diapers.” But that’s so patronizing it hardly seems relevant when Mom and Dad Need a kid to use the potty for any of the many reasons that come up: new kid coming, diapers are $$, cannot advance in school, diaper removal issues.

I have a twin mom friend who’s twins are a tad bit older than mine. She delayed trying any potty training. They made their first attempt essentially one year after I did. Bing-Bang-Boom, a couple of days and her kids are successfully peeing in the potty. Let that sink in a little bit. Same results: different journey getting there.

Overnight diapers stay

Until J stops pooping in his sleep I’m keeping the night diapers. K’s dry ones get reused and I’m using 2.5 diapers a day. A year ago it was 10 a day. Once they get their ‘big boy’ beds and a license to leave their room at night I’m willing to cross that bridge; until then, Pampers, you and I still good?

We share in Fort Birthday