Fort Birthday

23 things I’m packing for Walt Disney World

Packing for Disney is a journey unto itself

I have spent the better part of 3 weeks thinking about and planning how I am packing up myself, husband, and twin toddlers to leave for Disney in 3 days. Fifty percent of me is in the less is more, if we forget it, we probably didn’t need it camp. 45% is in checklists and “holy shirt what if we run out of sunblock” mental space. And the remaining 5% is living in a fantasy that 7 days at Disney somehow will translate into some vacation time for me.

So, I present to you my Disney packing list:

1. Wine. No really, I’m not kidding. Moms need wine is cliche, maybe. But you better believe it was the first thing I put in my Amazon Prime Now cart.
2. The receipt for the special order custom family tee shirts that are most likely not coming in time for the trip. I’m going to make one of the CM photographers take a picture of it.
3. Purell. No kiddling. The very first thing I got for my trip was some Mickey hand sanitizers. So, guess who’s kids have a cold? That’s right, mine. I’m sorry/not sorry I’m taking it to Disney with us.
4. At least two dresses that I fantasize I will wear for a nice evening out with my husband. Because, I am sure my in-laws will happily watch my boys for the night, and there is no way I will be too tired after tromping around the park for days to consider doing my hair. Or makeup.
5. Might as well put makeup on the list too. And hair care products. Because Florida has traditionally been kind to us curly haired ladies.
6. Minimum two sets of workout clothes. Because, you know, there’s a gym in the resort (leans in her chair, throws back her head, and laughs until she cries).
7. Diet coke with lime. Also not kidding about this. I can’t live without “my” version of coffee.
8. The pictures of my kids making Mickey Mouse a Birthday card, because I’m guessing I’m gonna forget to pack that. So Happy 90th Birthday, Mickey.
9. Any of the three pairs of new shoes that will torture me while I am there because they felt ok in the store, but that I haven’t broken in yet.
10. Unreasonably high expectations that my family will be demonstrably grateful for all the footwork and logistics I have done leading up to this trip. Here’s to the folks who plan these trips with more than 6 people *raises a glass of mom wine*.
11. One paperback book to read on the plane, because 3 hours in a plane with two toddlers will be a great time to catch up on some reading.
12. A smug sense of satisfaction that my kids are daytime potty trained so I’m not going to have to change diapers at the park.
13. 4 extra pairs of pants for the inevitable “we NEARLY made it to the bathroom on time” moments.
14. My sense of bitterness that I didn’t realize that the average January temperature in Orlando is 71, and this will not be a tropical vacation. It’s going to be a whole shittonne warmer than Maryland, though.
15. My sense of relief that the average January temperature in Orlando is 71 and I am most likely not going to have to go swimming with my toddlers.
16. My sense of smug superiority that the Florida natives will be wearing their winter clothes.
17. My winter coat, because it’s going to be cold AF when we get back to Maryland.
18. My children’s most precious stuffed animals. Precious to them. Ok, well actually precious too, because I checked on eBay in case I need to replace one of them and dangitall it has become a bit of a collector’s item and would cost $40 to replace. Which is both too much money to consider and way less than I would pay when my distraught child is breaking down over their missing toy.
19. 15 random travel items I swear I thought would be important, but will in fact be unused or in fact counterproductive.
20. So very many packing lists, both aspirational and practical. Do you have any idea how many packing lists you can download? Well, I do. And it’s more than 10.
21. Digital camera, phone camera, tablet camera, and the Memory Maker package so we can fully document the miserable glory that will be my toddler’s first trip to Disney. The highs. The lows. The glowering refusals and the scrunched up CHEESE faces. The resting Mom face.
22. Mickey Mouse everything. It’s Mickey’s 90th birthday and he is everywhere. My kids think this is because they are going to Disney (whistles innocently). And long after we go, I’m going to keep telling them that the reason Mickey is on the head of Dole Lettuce is that he misses the boys.
23. Some pixie dust. And stickers. With guess who on them. That’s right. Mickey Mouse.

Anything I’ve missed? Tell me in the comments.

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