2020 Mommy Blogger Goals and Making Monthly Goals
I worked together with 9 other bloggers for our 2020 goals as Mommies and as Bloggers. And REALLY I need to make one: working on my list of monthly goals.
Are you a goals maker?
I’m not good at listing my goals. The ADD has something to do with it. Upon reflection: I can break them into three categories; 1) obsessively planning daily goals; 2) aspirational or otherwise impossible goals; and 3) goals to make a list of goals.
The idea of planning my aspirations for 1 year and 5 year out is completely foreign to me. There is a level of organization and an ability to face disappointment that I lack. I mean, if I actually commit to making writing it down, then dangit, I might actually have to follow through.
I am aware that people do this. They set them and then review them. One of my friends has all kinds of them and checks them off. People do that. Twins kinda threw a wrench in some of my ability to even think theoretically about goals. Really, lots of the last 3 years the only goal has been: Keep the Tiny People Alive.
I’m doing ok with that one, so far.
Obsessively Planning
Part of postpartum life for me was anxiety and one of my coping mechanism for my anxiety is being obsessive about controlling as many things as I possibly can. I’m pretty sure it doesn’t count as healthy goal making to try and micromanage every single aspect of life with my twins.
Once, my postpartum anxiety was under some control, I could easier see that I wasn’t really making goals. Now I can look back and actually make some regarding my life. Something other than Keep it Together.
Part of Keeping it Together is taking my medications, engaging in self care, looking to the months ahead and seeing what things I want to do and how I need to get them done.
Aspirational and The Otherwise Impossible
Many of my bigger aspirations reflect the kind of person I WANT to be or the life I WANT to live. You know the ones I’m talking about: Be more organized, meal prep, workout, be mindful, do yoga.
I also have some goals that aren’t really reasonable at all for the purposes of talking about goals. Run a marathon – maybe after a knee replacement. Get a book published – I guess I would have to write one first. Be a good mom – I mean that’s sort of like the Mount Everest of Goals, right?
I might as well say I have a goal to be a different person than I am right now. It’s not super helpful. I can only be who I am.
Goal to make list of GOALS
I’m writing 30 blog posts in November as part of a challenge from a great group of bloggers was to blog every day in November (like National Novel Writing Month – NaNoWriMo – but for blogs – Check out day 1 a reintroduction) . Guess what day two is about – that’s right – monthly goals? So, I set the intention to be a little thoughtful about how I addressed the reasonable monthly/weekly level goals in my life.
I started by brainstorming ideas for all the goals I have right now (all of them) and then limiting it down to what is reasonable for November. Here is a short list: Keep Thanksgiving sensible, deal with all outstanding paper work, document some good work flow for pictures and blogging, get my Vacation photobook done, Do my closet renovation, Figure out a weekly schedule that keeps the house functioning.
I breaking them into doable steps; I know that I am best if I eat the frog. That means I have to tackle the worst steps first so I don’t avoid working on the goal because I don’t want to face the aspects of the job I don’t like doing. So when I work out the steps I always put the parts I hate first.
Monthly Worksheet
What do you want to get done in November? I’ve put together a worksheet for setting out some goals for the month –
Start by brainstorming some goals for JUST this month.
Circle the three that you most want done, don’t forget that you to balance the things you want to do with the things you need to get done.
Write them out along with five steps for getting them done. Also, add some accountability tools, like incentives, partners, and rewards.
Incentives can be things like – when you check off one of your steps you can work on some other more pleasant project for an hour. Partners can be anything from tweeting, posting, or sharing in stories; or having an accountability partner that directly helps you stay on task. Rewards can be intrinsic or extrinsic. Sometimes just getting something done and off your plate is reward enough (intrinsic). Sometimes the promise of a special activity helps motivate you (extrinsic).
A note on Habit Trackers
Habit trackers can be problematic for some people (me included). Never put more than three different things on a habit tracker and it’s more useful for me to have them be general rather than specific. I’ve set this one up to check off a day any time you work on ANY of your top three. That way you don’t feel obligated to always work on things.
What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals. – Zig Ziglar
Remembering that you aren’t defined by the nature of what you accomplish is super important. Sometimes one of my goals is showering – basic self care. Sometimes it’s a very result oriented or critical action – like file tax returns on time.
The exercise should provoke some mindfulness, not just getting some things done. Looking forward, anticipating what you want in life, and taking steps to get there are critical to living a more actualized life.
What about people who feel like they don’t have goals? (Hello, me, for pretty much most of my life). Trying to set monthly goals is easier than setting year long ones. Heck I even have daily goals.
What about people who have don’t know how to accomplish them? Breaking them down into steps can help make a roadmap for getting to your final result. And sometimes those steps have to get broken down into further steps.
Have you set out some goals for November? Share them with us.
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